Nay, I lied.

So life is ok I guess.
It'll be a year with Noelle sometime around V-day (neither one of us remembers when exactly :)). Other than slight bumps in the road and a long ass period of no sex (but everything else), its all gravity. Yes, said Gravity, not gravy
Finally hitting my ceiling at my job...it's starting to get hella boring and I WANT SO BADLY to move on to real tech work, not end-user customer service. I keep seeing people there who are 60/70 years young and I do not want that there...some people have been there for YEARS, decades. I don't want that. Up is the only way. I don't plan on quitting anytime soon, but I think I'm finally gonna go back to school full-time and work full-time. GL with that huh?

Also getting some courage and dumping some things financial (turning in the car in mid-april) and trying to become at least 75% debt free by the beginning of next year. So yea, it's doing the dame thing I supose

4 years on this name
6 years on melo to be 7 in march.
currently around 70 friends, many of which I find closer than my own family at times.
3 years with a good woman, going on 4 soon :-D

And I owe melo for giving up my virginity. OH, the stories I tell to melo.

Anywho, I guess what I'm really saying is thanks.....yall....:D

I am still alive. Methinks.

How are you, melo. We don't talk like we used to anymore :-. I guess that would MY fault since you don't talk.

I have a lot of items I wanna draw out...sorta like XKCD, with less of a focus on math, maybe put em here.

The mystery mana item in my life is energy. Just wasted energy that needs to go towards creating something. What exactly I don't know. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm dragging myself down in things that are outside of my control or shouldn't be in my control.

This year has felt like a waste for all the craziness that happened.

It's like...(people who don't watch footy aren't gonna get this) I'm waiting to be released. Every through ball, every one-two pass. Every first touch just seems never to work out right. I'm always pulled back, the whistle blown for offsides. Back to step one. It's like I know I can pull out the win at the death, but the refs that be won't give me the chance. Did i just compare my life with that of a striker's role. Yes, yes I believe I did.

my fatass is baking in this apartment. bum ass ac. so much going on, so much i should be writing about.

but lately, i've been just wanting to either stay quiet or talk to people face to face.

My life as it is, doesn't really allow for that. So I guess I should get to writing.

whiskeywhispers. Its late so i dont feel like aref'ing or whatever. Do it because as a friend of mine, she should be a friend of yours.

And melo people help melo people damnit.

I'm not going to get into details as to why....just...do it ok?



anyway, I know I haven't been on much nor really posting (if you can call rants posting anymore). I haven't seen the need to...I haven't outgrown melo or anything. The need to write down and express doesn't come as often anymore. It's better just to experience and keep to myself.

Doesn't mean I don't miss some of you guys :-D The others well....we had our run eh?

fml.

fuck suntrust. Fuck the economy. Fuck not having enough time in the day. fuck my health right now. fuck not being able to just be with the one i love. fuck having to deal with expections I want nothing to do with. fuck trying to keep everyone afloat at the sacrifice of myself.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. /rage.

I have a super huge melo crush on someone I shouldn't. Because I am a married spud.

Also life has sucked something fierce and I'm starting to get into my Downer phase again. Money's tight and I'm trying to either start my own side hustle or straight out find another job. This needs to happen now because i'm just tired of looking at the same thing when it comes to my life. But alas, I'm not in (total) control of things.

WE WON BABY! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BOY!

So I got a bunch of bad news yesterday.

NO raises until they start hiring again. No IDEA when that's going to be....that put a sweet dent on plans of pulling out of debt. just cut the fat i suppose.

I'm still bailing out my mom this week when i REALLY REALLY needed to get stuff for the apartment. I'm paying the full of the insurance so....whats going on with that I don't know. Selling some stuff on ebay can over that tho. Just hate scraping by through life AGAIN.

Devie and I decided to cut ties. More her then me...but yea. I knew it was coming. What has been said about that part of my life has been said a million times over and I'd just be rehashing. It didn't work out. I wish it could have. But it didn't....so therefore...i guess it's gone. I dont know if it's really ever going to hit me like i THINK it should. Maybe the false starts kinda cooled off the angry and emotion that SHOULD have come by being cut by your best friend. I will say that it's made me really callous towards....people. Like just the anger...I don't think i've ever been that angry, emotionally just charged. But in the end, we don't understand each other as much as we'd like to think we tried...so that....goes....away.

Which leads me to the title of this here blog. I feel like I realize more and more like I'm comfortable with myself. Just my life. A lot of things are still going to be shed away...but it's beginning to feel more and more like...my life.

And that's always a good thing.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED
of having to hear about liberal/Conservative.

Blacks are just as racist as whites and vice versa.

Base bashing of party platforms when most peopel DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THEIR PARTY STANDS FOR.

I swear CNN Newswire resembles 4chan for fucking adults.

/rage rant


Also, my apartment is ok.
I'm playing WoW again on Magtherdon
I'm not that broke anymore
I'm kinda annoyed with my life at this point.
I think everyone in my life is walking away from me and I don't think I care....
And somehow I'm still bailing out my mom on my first month moving out when I NEED stuff for my house. frug.

Get the fuck over it.


She's happy, you're happy (or at least you think)
So....stop...thinking...about her....

Thanks.

Sincerely, the side of you that actually sees whats going on.

ugh this blowssssssssssssssssss.
and i'm going to have to bounce a check for the first time in a while because I wasn't fucking paying attention to the amount due.

100 bucks to last me the next week and obtw, gas is up to 230 for regular and 250 for prem.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

need more money stat.