To go on a date with my future roommate or not to? He's really a sweet, quiet guy. He and I get along extremely well. We enjoy each other's company. He's totally hot and he's totally just asked me to dinner. WHAT TO DO?! HALP!

I want to, but my better judgment is telling me not to shit where I eat. I mean, I'm pretty sure if things got serious we'd be together a long time, but then again, there's always that off-chance something happens or it just doesn't work out, mm, lets say sexually. Then it would be awkward... ????

My new house is awesome! My new roommate is totally sexy! My old roommate is moving WITH me! I found a home for Harry Potter! My house is almost completely packed up!

Now to just figure out how to deal with these fucktard men.

This last weekend was a party-fest! Stayed up late Friday night with Agnes. Woke up around 8:30 to go for massages at UCMT. 3 hour wait; went window shopping for a bit, met Elvy and John for coffee and gossip. My massage was interesting, got a short Mexican dude. He had some interesting techniques I've now inserted into my repertoire. After massages, went home, bathed, drove North to Ryan's house (yes, I know. No matter the shit, I still love the fucker.)

Our friend Brenda was having a BBQ so we went over there for dinner. Ryan and I polished off a fifth of Vodka within 30 minutes with the help of some V8 Splash!

I was wearing my Blues Clues shirt and, considering how much weight I've lost, I was complaining about how tent-like it felt... so Brenda, in her astonishing wisdom, exclaims that I should go raid her 12 year old son's closet! I laughed, but she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me. Would you believe it? I FUCKING FIT IN HIS SHIRTS! Not only that, it made my chest look amazing! Guess who's shopping in the boy's section from now on!!

Went to 'Outlaw', aka the Cowboy bar. Ryan saw me dancing with someone and got in my face about how jealous he was and that I was doing it intentionally; personally, I was just glad to be able to dance without having a boyfriend to worry about.

Met Joey's girlfriend Chelsea; she's a total sweetie! And, she's gorgeous! Joey's mom, Barbie, invited her on-again-off-again man-tard who promptly started a fight with Joey. Joey threw a few punches and got himself ejected from the bar. And, just like clockwork, I ended up spending the rest of the night playing Dr. Phil for Barbie. "Sweetie, don't try to understand why Joey hates Quinn. Just understand, his instinct to protect his mom is what made him act out." Interestingly enough, Barbie tried to stand between them when it all went down and she caught her son's fist, with her MOUTH! There was blood everywhere... Oh, to be a redneck!

The beer was Green... I'll be shitting green for a month!

By the time Barbie's daughter, Misty, brought us back to Brenda's house (she was our DD), I was the only one sober enough to transport people back to Ryan's house.

Oddly enough, we had Occifer John, Ryan's neighbor. Occifer John is a Sheriff. He sat next to me in the truck while I drove all of us back to Ryan's. Never in my life have I been so paranoid than I was drunk driving with a Sheriff in the passenger seat. We made it home, safely, without incident. I drive better when I've been drinking; I know, a fucked up thing to say.

Woke up the next morning in Ryan's bed. Ryan on the floor. Shalane on the fouton in the living room. Occifer John was in the bed with me... I laughed a little on the inside. But sadly he's straight. Woulda been nice to fuck him in Ryan's bed though. Haha!

We went back to Brenda's for breakfast. Watched the Hangover. Then, around 8, drove South and stopped off in Salt Lake to check out the Townhouse we're moving into in April. I can't wait to get out of the country. Seriously, living downtown will be perfect for us. It'll make our dating lives much more tolerable.

Guess what!? We're doing it again next weekend for Brenda's birthday!

Larry is gone, for good; fucking bastard... we overstayed his welcome longer than I felt comfortable with... Mormon cock tease.

See how happy I am now? I'm glad, actually. Over it!

I feel great though. I don't know why I'm so hung up on dating. All I need is attention; I can get that anywhere. I'm done with the whole ordeal.

FML

Need to buy 3 new tires for my car, 4 if I want a new spare... $300+
Fix my truck, $125
April Mortgage payment AND 1st months rent for townhouse in SLC, $995 + $350
Truck Payment, $375.76
Security deposit on townhouse, $300

I need a blowjob, pronto.

Lies!

Alice in Wonderland was a letdown. If it weren't for the 3D effects, the show would have been much less than spectacular.

The 3D even started to irritate me because the focal point was always Johnny Depp's face and the rest was fuzzed out to enhance the 3D effect, and his bottom eyelash things, the little white divets, were grossing me out.

And was Anne Hathaway intended to be awkward and unattractive? The style was a complete fail!

Not worth the $8 and hours of my life.

I respond well to flattery, nude photographs of sexy men, and baked goods.

Milo

is the fucking bomb! A bottle of whine and a MacBook make for a very entertaining evening... add one Guy Fawkes mask and you're golden!

Screenshots to come, they're on the laptop at home. OMG, you'll die!

Edit: okay so i can't find the screenshots on my laptop. apparently they don't save on the desktop like my iMac does. anyone know where screenshots go on a macbook pro? osx snow leopard.

Also, chatroullete was down all night, what a blow. tinychat next is not even in the same league.

We'll use different names. We'll be new people. We'll free ourselves of the world we know.

We'll ride the wind. We'll allow the world to guide us.

It's clear to me, Melo is the longest relationship I've ever had. Ryan comes in second at 5 years; fuck him. Then Jeremy at 4 years (and counting).

Here's my melo history: I was a student at Chapman University in Orange, CA, and I was working in the registrar's office with Alexis (Starryeyed). She introduced me to Teresa (Stoneybear) who in turn introduced me to Jeffree Star (Cunt). Alexis kinda had a crack-hoe breakdown and left Chappy; she and I exchanged some pretty heated words. She's was a selfish person.

For the next year or so, I was attached to Teresa like a puppy. We'd go places, stay up late, talk about life, smoke cigarrettes, eat really bad food. She had this boyfriend who started showing up. He was, well, odd. He took up a lot of her time. Her time was also dominated with getting papers and research done for class. So Jeffree and I entertained ourselves in the background.

Jeff and I would talk about random shit. We'd listen to music, especially lil'kim. we'd generally not sleep. We came alive after 3am.

Teresa and Alexis were friends. When I'd first started hanging out with them, they introduced me to a website called Melodramatic.com of which they were both members. I was hooked. Melo, for those who don't know, was pre-myspace, and facebook wasn't even a fart in the social networking gene-pool yet. Melo was, for all intents and purposes, the solution for people who'd gotten fed up with LJ and Friendster. Melo was a place to be anonymous, unjudged, emo. Melo was a community.

Through melo I met friends, both online and in the real. Fakeplasticgirl (long live FenrisWoWGuild) aka Crystal. Sara. Maggie (Candy). Robert (Kornzilla). And lots more who I don't necessarily talk to much anymore. Melo was my outlet, my social life, my lifeline.

Jeffree decided to leave Melo for Myspace. I followed him. Everyone did, it seemed. For the longest time, Myspace was the shit. It was the mainstream social network. We all kept our Melos in secret, but Myspace is where we played out our public lives. And when Myspace died, we naturally moved to facebook. Melo... she never died. She was resilient. She held a certain part of the market that was long since dead to the mainstream: anonymity.

Some years, I would only post one or two things on Melo. Even after all the changes in melo, my CSS was so fucked up I simply deleted it. But I never once forgot Melo, or left her. I was always here, next to her, creeping around spying for virgins, creating clone melos to secretly leave dirty messages for guys I thought were super hot. Melo was a guilty pleasure, one that no one else I knew had.

Jeffree became famous, moved to Hollywood, left Melo forever, changed his phone number, IM handle, and even stopped replying to messages on myspace and facebook. I ran into him once at Tigerheat in WeHo, he gave me his new number. I called him once, but he never answered or called back.

Teresa graduated while I was whoring for Disney. She went dike and fell in love. I met up with her a few years ago and went to Big Slice, played pool. Caught up with her. She still lurks on Melo there and here. I mostly keep track of her shenanigans on Facebook.

Here I am, seven years later, a Melo-phile. I've matured to the point where I'll willingly and openly flirt using my real name and identity, I've grown up, the content of my melo has matured to a certain level... er, sorta. :)

Melo loves me. She's always loved me. You reading this is my proof.

Milo

Just bought my tickets to California. I bought a car that I have to go pick up. So I'm flying my roommate and I down there Saturday the 27th and we're driving it back to Utah via Las Vegas Baby!

I'll most likely be taking vacation that Monday so i can enjoy Sunday before driving back. Gonna take Shalane to Disneyland, she's never been, go sailing with my Momsy, and maybe drive up to LA and have a few drinks, meet up with a few people, nothing super planned. Should be fun!

I'll be staying in Dana Point and driving around Orange County if anyone wants to meet for coffee or anything. Let me know and I'll try to squeeze people in. Just keep in mind: Roommate on Board :P

Cheers!

Robert, we're meeting, and that's FINAL! Call Sara, beg/bribe her too. Maybe drinks or coffee or, fuck, I don't care, just chilling.

From an email I received from "Cody" the son of the owner of the coffee joint across the street from my house that I frequent in response to an appearance I made this weekend with Shalane's boyfriend:

"So two questions.

1. How old were you again?
2. Is the freakishly large amigo your man toy haha?

Cody"

I was so stunned, I laughed so hard! I'll have to tell Shalane when I get home, she'll laugh. Have to avoid telling her while she's eating or drinking though, she launched chewed pear at me last night. True story.

spilled my only cup of coffee all over my keyboard at work this morning. as i type to you, i consider how amazing it is that it can still type, for now.

i'll be curious how well i manage to go without having completed a whole cup of coffee. i refuse to buy soda.