Wow, I completely forgot all about this website until the about 10 minutes ago. lol. I can't believe I even remember my user name or password. So much has changed, most importantly: I HAVE A SON! **Landon** is his name- and he's amazing <3 He was born On February 9th. He's had a very rough beginning into this world. He was born with a heart murmur and was airlifted to San Diego right after birth. He was there for about 5 days and I was able to bring him home on Valentines day- best valentines day ever <3 Having your first baby and getting him taken away from you so quickly is HARD. I never imagined it would happen to me... but it only makes you stronger and appreciate things even more. I had him home for about 11 days and one day he got a terrible fever. I ended up rushing him to the emergency room only to find out that they had to do a spinal tap and found out that he had Spinal Meningitis =( It's when the menengi's around your brain become inflamed- it puts pressure on the brain. In Landon's case he began to get seizures. It's been extremely rough because he's been in the hospital for 2.5 weeks now. Hopefully he'll be home on Wednesday this week. He's such a fighter. He's taught me so much already. I love my little man <33 okay- so all of that is the EXTREMELY short version of the birth and hospital stays- but It's late and I'm tired. lol.

Melo-ers!!
I haven't been on this piece in a MINUTE - haha, that's my cool ny talk.
Well I'm back in killa Cali now, living- FOR GOOD! I love it! Things are going sooo good! I just got a really good job at a hotel/casino called Pechanga. I finally got over my fear of driving and have been driving EVERYWHERE and will be going for my behind the wheel test on Oct. 4th- man, I tried to get an earlier date but the dmv was BOOKED! As for the social life, I finally have one again! lol. I'm not just sitting in my room online all day- in fact, I'm never really online. My gpa's computer sucks major ass! He still has dial up so it takes FOREVER to do ANYTHING! For example, I finally decided to download aim on here... and it's estimated downloading time is OVER AN HOUR! Holy shit, on my comp it would take like 3 minutes... gr. I'm gonna pay for some DSL or something because this shit won't fly with me. I think I may get a second phone line as well... idk.
Well as for the boy updates- I've met some guys, but nothing special. I've gotten back in touch with exs who seem to think that I'm gonna be their booty call now tht I'm back... but I don't have any desire for them either. Idk, I'm content being single and looking I guess. I've only seen Joe twice since I've been here. We went to dinner the night that I came back, which was nice. Then I saw him this past weekend, and met his new girlfriend. That was fun... NOT. I'm not bitter or jealous or anything... but she apparently was. She was pretty damn rude actually. I try to put myself in her shoes... but I meen, I was willing to be nice to her and everything and I'm the one that had 6 years of history with him. Oh well, I'm just the better person. haha. I also got to see Paul a few weekends ago... it was great seeing him, he's hella hot... but no sparks. I meen, for me there definately were sparks, but I don't think so for him. Oh well, it happens. We still talk every once in a while so maybe I can make him fall in love with me. haha. I saw Byg- of course we fought. That's a given. But it was nice seeing him. Besides hanging with friends- i've been spending a lot of time with "family". I love it. I can't believe how much I missed all these characters!! Well anyway, I'll try to check this shit as often as I can- but it may not be too often until I get DSL or something. I hope everyone is doing good!!
<333

So I sign onto myspace and I get a comment from Joe- He said:
"hey cailie,

just wanted to say hi and all that good stuff. you know it gets harder and harder everytime i talk to you. i guess stuffs jsut changed beween us. althoughit doesn't seem like your really concerened, i am ( or more approproatly, was ).

i guess what im ultimatly saying is goodbye. good luck with everything."

Okay seriously- I can go on for DAYS talking about all the shit that went down and how UNFARE to me he was and how he broke my heart and all that shit- but honestly, none of that matters. To think that he can so easily say "goodbye" like that, that tears me to pieces. I would NEVER be able to do that to him. NEVER. So I wrote him back saying :

"Fuck you if you think that you're going to say "GOODBYE" to me!
Our friendship has no good byes.Never.
We've been friends for how long and you're gonna sit there and
give me the "goodbye" and "good luck" speech... FUCK THAT.
You know, you made it seem like I don't even give a shit about
how things are between us. I fuckin' hate how we are. I hate
the awkwardness... I hate the amount of time that goes by
between each talk.
Things happened and didn't really work out- which honestly,
I'm not over... but I don't' even let those feelings affect our
friendship what so ever. Joseph, I shouldn't have to sit here
and tell you what you mean to me... you should know. You know how
things went down. And I didn't once give you a hard time... I went
with the flow because I didn't want to push you away. It was NEVER
because I didn't care or didn't want things to be differently, I
just wanted to give you your space. And when you called I always
answered, or called you as soon as I saw you had called. I never
once left you hanging. I would do absolutely ANYTHING for you,
no matter the price and/or consequences. So don't tell me that I'm
not fuckin' concerned! Further more... Out of all of the "titles"
I have for you, the most important one is my "FRIEND" and that's
why your goodbye speech ain't gonna fly. You're not gonna sit there
and say that to me. YOU'RE NOT. ANd even more importantly, if
this is your way of letting me go because I know you're not so
great with goodbyes, and you honestly have no intention of talking
to me again then that's really FUCKED UP. If you can sit there and
say to yourself that you're done with me then everything you've ever
said to me meant nothing... and if a man doesn't have his word, what
does he have?! Don't let me down, and don't let yourself down. And
remember... you swore to me that there would be no more broken
promises, and one of those promises was that no matter what, we'd
be friends forever. Think about that shit. I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU.
Now get the FUCK off myspace and CALL ME <3"

Now I'm on a mission to fuckin' chew his ass out. I've never been so mad. I meen, I've been mad- but never like this. Never a mad where I seriously want to hurt him. No joke, I left him a voice mail telling him the different ways I'd like to kill him. I don't care if he cheated or lied or any of that shit- but he is not gonna write me off completely. He is NOT gonna give me the "goodbye and goodluck" speach because I deserve sooo much better from him. I deserve a HELL OF A LOT BETTER from him! FUCK HIM. FUCK JOE.

I may not have my diploma But I'm sure as HELL not dumb.
I know the games you played and the things you did. I may
not have called you out on them, but I know what's up. You
think you got something over on me?! You think you're hiding
something?! You think you got THAT MUCH SKILL that you
can play around and not get caught up. Well let me tell you
something fool... I KNOW! I don't need to see it to know it.
And if you were such a good playa you wouldn't leave it all
up on ur page for everyone to see! DUMB ASS!

... I KNOW.

Today was quite eventful. I woke up at 7:15 in the morning and showered and got dressed and everything and left the house around 9. I went with my neighbor to drop her son off at day camp which is right next to a tat shop. I needed a new stud for my nose and once I got in the shop I decided I wanted a hoop. BUT, none of them fit. I ended up getting a horse shoe ring and I think it looks pretty awesome. but it's not really me. I tried to take it off but I can't unscrew the damn ball! It's driving me crazy. ha. Then we went to the mall for breakfast ((I had french toast)) then we tried to go down the elevator (we had her daughter with her and the stroller) but it wasn't working. So then we tried the escalator. and that wasn't working either. Then the elevator started working again and we had to RUN to get to it. Luckily, we made it. Then we went to Walmart and we lost the car in the parking lot. Literally. It was horrible because it was sooo humid out and there we were just walking around trying to find the damn car! Once we finally found it we went home.
Not even 10 minutes after I had been home I get a phone call from ym grannies friend Janice who wanted to give me her daughters old bedroom set, so I said okay. She said her son was going to bring it over (I met Nick the firefighter through him). So I ask her if she's coming with Jimmy and she said she wasn't sure. 15 minutes later I go to answer the door and wouldn't you know- it was Nick and Jimmy. I haven't even talked to Nick in weeks!! It was EXTREMELY awkward and he was very short with me. Since they had to make two trips I knew he'd be back so I was all worried because I felt bad... and when he came back he told me he wasn't mad at all and all this stuff... which of COURSE made me feel a lot better. After that I went on a mission to start redoing my whole room which I'm not even nearly done with. And after ALL of this I have to wake up early again tomorrow for a similar day. Gr. ha.
STUD.

HORSE SHOE.

Well I haven