After a massive sit and think time I waded through the maelstrom of emotion I had and decided to fix some things with Martina. Sure we haven't fixed anything, and sure we are still going awhile without contact, but progress is progress. That all sunshine and daises as far as I'm concerned. Lately though.. I've been having an intense problem with joey.

I've lived with Joey for two years now... and I have never in my life felt more like I didn't know him. It's been due to these little things... well... lies I've caught him in. It started when we moved in. He looked at me and my things and food and told me, "I need gatorade because I have an electrolyte imbalance. If I don't my joints will lock up." He drank ALL of my gatorade. At that point I had two jobs and was making around 300 a week so 12 bucks on a roommate didn't seem like a big deal. Besides I figured he'd owe me right? Well it turns out thats not even CLOSE to what electrolyte imbalances do. Not only that, but for the past YEAR we haven't had gatorade in the dorms or the fridge. He's fit as a fiddle. Why is this? Because he lied. It kept growing from there. Every once in awhile I'd catch him talking shit about his ex saying how unattractive she is. Then he'd spin around and say she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. It confused me. Then he'd start talking about his "gang days." Now, he originally claimed that while he lived in Cleveland he was in a gang. Every once in awhile though he'd tell me about his gang days in denton, where he moved from before he got here. I find this odd.. because in denton he claimed he didn't get into fights anymore, or steal anything AND that he was a relaxed guy... Also he said while in cleveland he had an epiphany that made him stop being in a gang. Now, when he talks about his gang days he tell me some stories lately that happened when he was 16. He moved to denton when he was 14. So either he's lied about not being involved in shit, or he's making it up. Also on multiple occasions he'll talk about "cool shit he did in highschool." and Andy (who graduated with him) says, "Joey... that never happened. Like, really that is not possible." It's irritating because was he says this he then backtracks to say it was while he was in cleveland. I then respond with, "wait how old were you?" "16-17 for sure dude" is how he always responds. Seems to me he's just making shit up. The last two incidents are whats really chapped my ass though.

The other day he came home and said, "I got a letter in the mail that said the school fucked up and that i actually have a 4.0 GPA." Congrats. Thats nice. One problem. Actually more like 3. Where's the letter? I dug all over the room and didn't find it. We live in one room together. He doesn't put his stuff anywhere else. This letter doesn't exist. Besides, he makes the same grades I do and I have a solid 2.8. So how does he have a 4.0 I wonder. I ask him. He said, "well I didn't read it carefully, it could have been from my highschool GPA." Oh but wait, in college once you are accepted your highschool GPA doesn't mean shit. Oh, and did I mention he admitted to struggling with classes before? How do you have a 4.0 if you struggle? Now he walks around flaunting his "GPA" as if he's better than everyone.

My last straw was this week we had UIL competition. We drive far away, lock ourselves in a theatre, and help people set up their theatre equipment. Yesterday, he leaves early saying he needed to so he could make it home since his ride would be back home at 5. He rode home with his girlfriend who apparently had work at 5. Leaving us to work understaffed. Now, when I got back at 10, I find him. Asleep on his bed. I'll put it like this, Joey bailed on us working our asses off to go fuck his girlfriend, leaving under the pretenses it was an emergency otherwise he'd never get back to denton.

I've grown sick of him lying to me. I would be okay with it if it wasn't for the fact that he does it constantly. I've begun to wonder if he's a pathological liar. If so I must fight him.

I forgot to mention something that just pisses me off about him. He wakes up every morning and burps. I don't mean a massive long one and I don't mean just one. I mean somewhere between 16-24 times. I asked him why he did it, he responded with, "he always does it, if he didn't he'd throw up everywhere." I nearly throw up because I have a roommate who constantly burps. It's not just a, as I wake, thing. It's an all day thing. it'd be different if he didn't do it intentionally.

Also he tried to show off for his girlfriend by saying that, "I drank half a cup of brake fluid and it did nothing to me." after pressing him for details he eventually said, "later that night my stomach said I had to go to the bathroom and so I did, but that had nothing to do with drinking a cup of brake fluid an hour earlier." First off, he changed up how much he drank THEN he tells us he ingested brake fluid. Anyone know what that does to you? CORRODES YOUR INSIDES. Fuck on the bottle it says contact with the skin causes cancer. He claims he's immune yet fired a ass load right after drinking it and that has nothing to do with it? COME THE FUCK ON

It's not necessarily that you worship god, drink at church, pray to mary, or anything along that line. It's that blurring line or changed rules and hypocrisy. What do I mean? I mean that I'm sick of people going to church, proclaiming their innocence and how great god is, then walking outside and fucking prostitutes and asking why god is such a piece of shit that he would do something to them. I myself am religionless. Yet I observe people, and when I see people saying one thing and doing another, it usually sets me off. Why am I saying this? Recent notations of how people act. For example, I saw a girl the other day who lives here. She walks around our dorm, posting bible verses, telling us how god helps her every day, and how her only want in life is to serve him. Thats funny. Why? Because she' fucked nearly everything in this dorm, been pregnant, had abortions, and with other people's HUSBANDS. pretty sure thats breaking a few rules. Then when I get woken up by this weird bitch because she wants everyone to learn about gods plan it's all I can do NOT to pee on her where she stands. I guess what bugs me is this person is considered a model christian among our populace. If being pious includes random wild sex with people's significant others I'm pretty sure there would be a much more acceptance of religion into society. But it's not.

Tomorrow is a bit of a nerve racking day. I have to go to a chiropractor and a nutritionist in the same day. Now, the chiropractor I have 0 problem with because hey, I love my back feeling good. The nutritionist is going to be a problem though. See, I know I eat unhealthy. Fuck since I quit being a vegetarian I've GAINED 40 pounds. I forgot what it was like to have your stomach stick even a little. So he's going to say I need to eat right. One problem. I am required to eat dorm food. Let's just say dorm food is a step below cafeteria food. I've actually seen a can of imitation vegetables in the back. It's concerning. SO I'm going to be told to change my diet.... whenever I can't. It's just irritating.

I also decided I'm not going to california. No real reason, just doesn't sound like a good idea anymore.

Martina and I have been up and down again. Today's trial was her ex matt. Matt dated her for forever, she loved him. Thats nice and all, but he lied to her, cheated on her, mistreated her, etc. pretty much most of the relationship and didn't really even feel a shred of remorse. He moved away. She was safe right? nope. Myspace fucked that up. Now he (while he has a girlfriend mind you) tells her shes the most beautiful thing in the world and how he will love her forever etc. (and yes my jealousy and rage are mixing quite well at this point.) Then he hits her up today sliding her sweet nothing and it absolutely wrecks her. She (in my mind) will always have that special place in her heart for him. She's okay.. which is good, but it caused things to get weird. I told her she was quite the looker, I got shot down and not talked to for the rest of the night. I know I'm overanalyzing and being paranoid... but it bugs me this guy who treated her like shit can make her blush, and I just upset her.

Goddammit

I like describing people, and I'm sure some of you get confused when I name random people and you have no clue what the eff I'm saying. So I'll break it down.

Theatre people.
Robin: Head of department. Acting teacher. Loves her voice. Smokes pot. Lesbian.

Teena: Aka: God. Main tech professor. Sarcastic. Just wants to get shit done. Smokes the most pot. Lesbian.

Thea: Main costume designer. A little short with people but still willing to teach. No nonsense. Smokes pot. Lesbian

Joey: Roommate, Gypsie, loud, proud, prone to mood swings, nerdy, immense ego, taste in women that are usually pear shaped, stalks his ex.

Mitchell: Gay, Nerdy, MMO player, big heart, little tolerance for bullshit other than the friendly kind.

Jarrod: Gay, Computer fluent, doesn't talk much, excellent taste as far as music goes.

Kalvin: Loud, Angry, Vulgar, Worships the Ga, Samoan, Most extroverted person in the department, rarely keeps his clothes on.

Miranda: Quite, sarcastic, short, simimlar to Kalvin except she's more the kind and gentle type. This doesn't mean she's above calling someone a fat bitch.

Robert: AKA Ricky. I'm the only one who calls him ricky. Semi- fluent with computers. Usually attached to his girlfriend Jessica, he's kind of the token reaction guy.

Jessica: Loud, built like a stick, sensitive as tits, calling her fat can quickly cause a fight, surrounded by drama.

Allison: Jessica's sister. Built like... I don't know what but I'm pretty sure I'm going to get cancer if I keep looking at her. Whore but hates being called as such, lightweight alcoholic, also surrounded by drama.

Lori: Also a stick. Loud, whiney, needy, a tease, can't decide if she wants a boyfriend or not but it doesn't really matter since she cheats on him regularly, brags about her bj skills, Possibly retarded.

Andy: Roommate, Mexican, works at sears, a heavy hand on my shoulder guiding me where I should be in theatre, smartass, doesn't give a fuck about much of anything, master of ping pong, has severe women issues

Tyler: AKA Busby. Most common said thing in the department now is "Fucking busby" since he breaks shit or messes things up with the finesse of an elephant doing coke on roller-skates, Fucks anything that moves and has a vagina, if he doesn't he begs to. He's that kind of guy that no matter what you've done in your life he's done it better and no matter how hard life is for you it's always harder for him. Essentially, he's better than you. Always.

Phillip AKA Flip: Dumbass. Can't talk right, Can't type right, Can't walk right, Can't act right. He's overall just worthless, people feel bad for him and he throws the "I'm black and proud" card to get everywhere. He also acts as if there is no consequence to him mouthing off to people, secretly the baseball team wants to lynch him. Also possibly retarded

Albanie: AKA Bethany. No one really knows why shes called bethany she just is. Quiet, kind, hard working, a little uptight.

Ashley: Ex of mine, Ditzy, quiet, when not quiet is relatively unaware of anything she says, finally stopped trying to go out with me when she got a boyfriend who can fight on par with me, Massive boobs is where her brain probably exists. My prime example when I say I have terrible taste in women.

Skyler: Hardcore lesbian, loud, angry, violent, artsy, enjoys smoking drinking, and beating the everloving piss out of people.

Kenny: Super gay. Twink, talented singer and dancer, works at best buy, easily upset by anything.

Robert: AKA Robo. Southern accent from hell. Moderately ok guy. Guitar player, likes to fight so we get along nicely.

Shane: Usually attached to unknown girlfriend. Quiet, hates being called a poser for getting a mowhawk and piercing his lip.

Laura: Retarded, awkward, loud, doesn't need to be here.

Megan: Object of joey's new interest though he won't admit it. Works at best buy, nerdy, Likes anime men, most likely has zero interest in dealing with my roommate.

G...?: I don't actually know her name. All I know is she's a straight kenny with boobs.

Dorm people:

April: Creepy. Runs the dorms. Doesn't do her job. Pretty sure she can teleport

OJ: aka Da Joose. Weird eccentric black guy who always wants me to rap with him for some reason

Nigel: Andy's ex roommate, creepy, pedophile, masturbates to porn even if people are in the room, possibly retarded, only black man I know that acts white.

Brandy: Retard. Wants to fuck everyone and everything. Unimpressive personality combined with not withstand able looks equals not worth existing. I'd feel different if she didn't try to show off the things she doesn't have, and by that I mean intelligence and beauty.

Luke: AKA London. Good hearted guy, but a bit of a womanizer. Other than that he's pretty chill

Chris: Creepy guy who follows me around asking for homework help.

No lifes: Comprised of three people. Tall skinny, Taller Fat, and Short blue hair. All three stink. All three play wow and watch anime nonstop, and all three annoy the shit out of everyone here.

Outside of the dorms:

Sabrina: Ex best friend. Known since I was 8. Has a fetish for wanting to kill herself and distance everyone around her from herself. Let's just say she hates reality and end it there

Michael: Best friend. Bro. Psychotically crazy, impulsive, talented, awkward, powerful want to be a family man.

Sammy: Best friend. Bro. Bi sexual and concerning as tits. A fan of traps. Nerd. Talented fighting game player. Loud, vulgar, anime obsessed.

John: Bro, Best friend. Quiet. powerful. very concerned about starting his life. obsessed for that matter

Martina: Best friend. current person I pursue. Bubbly, happy, random, and artistically talented. Odd ability to make me laugh even through pure blind rage. Only person I'm actually "open" to anymore.

I'd also like to state for those unaware, I speak as I think. Uncensored, Uncaring, and usually rude as hell. I'm really not a nice guy... except to those who've earned it. If you are offended, I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm not sorry for what I say. If I didn't mean it I wouldn't type it. Got a problem? Enemy me. I'm perfectly fine with no karma.

well that certainly was long

g'night everbody

So the department decided that instead of an actual play to do this semester we are just going to do performance art... hoo-fucking-ray. We are comprised of a bunch of depressed people with wayyy too much time on their hands and are followers of the the church of Ga. I suppose thats not what chaps my ass... it's more like my teachers decided that instead of an actual play to just do a conglomerate of things like a talent show at a high school. I mean, come the fuck on. This is my last show here, why in the name of all thats holy are we doing skits? Why are we trying o show who WE are on stage? Isn't the point of acting being something else?

In other news I've been fiddling with cut on my hand. I know you don't care, but it interests me. I've been poking it and prodding it and it won't do anything, I tried sowing it back together... but the scab is so strong I can't pierce it with a needle. I wonder if I hit bone when I hurt it.... oh well.

Okay so I can say for sure now that the whole, killing off my emotions thing, has completely backfired. All this time I've sat and conditioned myself to not be affected by blows to my psyche all went down in one giant burst of not so awesome. My best friend since I was a squirt of 8 years old (thats 12 years kids) decided that we should go our separate ways. Why? Because the object of my rage for this semester being a man named chris wants to fuck her. Now, why do I have a problem with this? Because Chris has plagued my existence since I was 15. Chris is a man whore who defines himself by being depressed, having people pay attention to him, fucking them all, then getting new people because they all hate him. Not to mention the bastard's been copying me since the day I met him. Anyways. They somehow became friends. I was not okay but accepting. Up until he sold my roommate a car. He sold him a 93 camry and said he'd personally pay for fixing the breaks for 1000 bucks. Not bad eh? Thats what we thought. Thing is he sold them a 3000 dollar problem and didn't even fix the breaks, then acted like his phone was turned off and hid out at her house from me and my roomie. Now, that right there was the the straw that broke the camels back. So now, this Chris who happens to be in my college theatre department as well, is on my list of things to break. But since he's moved into the dorms I can't otherwise I have to sleep in my truck for 4 months. Now he tried to make a move on my roomies girlfriend right in front of us, got rejected, so he went for Sabrina. I got mad because I knew he was going to use her, and she got mad at me because someone was paying attention to her. So now my best friend ditched me for someone who's just going to play with her. For the first time in months, I feel sadness and fear.