I've never tried to be any older than peter pan. I don't like the taboos of our aging society so I try to avoid it at all costs. I don't like poor health as an associative phrase to getting older. Disgusting.

Being older does not have anything to do with being smarter or more wise.

Being old can be both ugly and beautiful.

Being smart beyond your years can be a gift just as much as it can be a curse.

I always hear my friends boasting back at me, "Sam, you were right...." Well, do you know what, SOMETIMES BEING RIGHT HURTS!

"Your boyfriend is going to cheat on you" - "Sam, he did cheat on me, you are right". That doesn't make me happy--- even if it should.

Youth can give you so much creativity - its a fountain of knowledge in the right hands. Its refreshing and distressing to see children wise beyond their years. Some people I have met ten years younger have had amazing minds that would shock some people twice their age.

Sadly most people with amazing minds are over looked. Now, I wonder, have you ever came across someone with a truly genuine amazing mind that makes you just say "wow".

Below, Is a random ffwed from my Mom, I am not a fan of chain mail, or even most e-mails period-- however, their were some nice points that I thought I would share.

Power of Money, By Adam Khoo

(Singapore's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs of Age.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia,Indonesia, Thailand and Suzhou (China). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Orgn) a few years back (YEO) is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota's and Nissans, not Audis, Mercs, BMWs.

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation.

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewelery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life.

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.

What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.
What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.
I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product.

If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaninglessness.

This day, I have so many sharp memories of this day in the past.

one year, i woke a green x-mas shirt to a bar with glitter in my hair. i got the same amount of looks as when i dressed up as santa on halloween. "your looking at me weird, when your the one drinking green beer"

in 2004, i wrote a "lucky" MELO entry, and was so excited, i ran to my back yard and found a four leaf clover just to post it.. if i have a second when i wake up, ill re post the photo i took.

when i was in university, a few years ago, me and my 2 gf's went to a random 24 hour diner and snorted sugar crystals with straws and had an all night movie marathon

this year.. its just another day to be remembered with copious amounts of glitter.

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY MY FRIENDS

My inspiration from this is from legalized gay and lesbian marriage, as well as excerpts from The Life and Times of Harvey Milk.

My strongest love for equality is that all people feel safe. All people feel safer. |It has happened in the past, and not often documented that even HETEROSEXUAL males get assaulted for being gay. These people know exactly what it is like to be different, and sit on the wrong side of the fence and they are just themselves. Heteroflexable or MetroSexual.. all the same to me.

With fear campaigns, when it is a right to make one group of people feel less than equal - it now makes it easier to make multiple minority groups feel less than equal. I laugh, because that 'glbt minority group' is turning into the MAJORITY.

People that believe fear can dictate your life: do it. I will just sit, laugh and watch you as you destroy yourself.
People that use fear to control life: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.

I am obsessed with this website. 2 weeks go i ordered maybe 30 items.. 15.. are still in the mail. i am anticipating an anxious weekend and exciting news Monday.

yes yes yes yes yes yes

no.

ps> do you use ebay? if so, what for?

I was just randomly searching videos on youtube and came across one titled "Sassy Gay Friend: Romeo and Juliette"

I don't want to watch the video because I already have my imagination rolling, But I could dream of how amazing it would be to re-make all of Shakespeares' movies, and kind of make a parody of them to be 2010 ready with the different technologies/ and social revolutions that we now have years later.

It only takes 5 minutes with that glass in my hand.. looking at him and thinking of you.
I swish the ice in my glass, and I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I wish i could see right through to the other side, but I would never want to live in a world where I see the same things that other people think of me.

I finish my glass, and have another. Every sip closer to the ceiling i feel. I feel. Thats all anyone could ever ask for is to feel.

I stumbled upon the rest of my unfinished collection of GLBT alternative movies. This is a real breakthrough in 21st century cinema, its powerful and overlooked, Yet these movies peeked in an era that I grew up. They are all of the ME generation. I feel so attached to a lot of them. Most movies (GLBT) are filmed in Los Angeles like the movie "Latter Days". This movie was made when I started using this website. I was the same age as the main characters.. for this movie and more than a dozen others. Its weird to think that I grew up here in a city that I've never been to.

As i sip from my glass, I swirl the straw around, and smile. You're the only one who knows.

This is a sip for the boy who died on the dance floor. This is a sip to have one more.

oh yeah.. it was

Circa 2006

As selfish as this sounds, I like to be selfish and vain. The down side, i don't have to rely on anyone to get me to where I am. I don't rely on other people to deal with my emotions, and I don't have people in my life that have a grasp over the emotions that I don't want to share.

When I am angry or upset by something, I initiate it.. If anything in my life has an uncomfortable presence.. I can do something simple 3,21 leave. Life is that simple. Life is so predictable, when people break up with people, time and time again, most people break up with all of their partners. Everything has patterns, and when you find them you're farther ahead than the rest of us.

LIfe gets so dull for me because I always know the next step. usually it always ends badly. When your confiding on a friend who is cheated on.. perhaps that friend may have a constant habit of always being cheated on.. To me, if all of your partners cheat on you - maybe its not their fault they cheat. I don't like to throw blame. I try to deal with things rationally and myself to get quick solutions. I don't put myself into these situations where I rely on other people. When i rely on other people and get disappointed, it hurts. When I constantly rely on the same person and get let down over and over again, i am at fault. Not anyone else.

When couples fight, over and over again- at the end of it: all fights have the same argument. Fix it the right way, or don't consider me a friend when you ask me for consolidation.

These kinds of friendships are very poor investments. Please for yourself, don't fall into the loop.

When you rely solely on someone else for your own happiness, the end result is you will be void, and empty. The distance gap you put between your other friends and your family will be traumatic, and their is no happy ending.

Live, Love and Learn

Sam VIP

This will be a Trending topic today on this website and for the next 365 days of the year. Typical.

I'm nostalgic... 2 years ago today MY city was covered in snow. All of the snow banks had red hearts spray painted into them; It was beautiful. That was then and this is now. It is still beautiful.

It looks the same today as it did 2 years ago, I look the same, and life seems to be perfect. On the outside as the inside..

For everyone else, I don't think its the same story.

What i fear for everyone - isn't a VALENTINES DAY MASSACRE CRIME SCENE with cut up dissected bodies on the bathroom floor and candy hearts shoved down peoples throats.. I fear too many people are far too co dependent for life itself.

Why is everyone so codependent. fix yourself so you don't need to live off of other people- it is not healthy.

the end

As often as I hate censorship, some forms of PDA are necessary in life; the same censorship sometimes should be taken online. In my life, I have taken that more literally.
When I first became sexually active, I wanted to keep my own red-shoe diary of this. With photos, details and post this online. This would be under the impression that I was modestly sexually active. i was. Curiosity is a spice of life.

I remember those Sex ED classes when we were in elementary school where they would separate the boys from the girls, we watched a movie, and then were given this pamphlet. Shortly after, I remember my mom saying "if you give your partner everything they need, they will never leave you." She seemed to do something right because it worked for her. She got married, and stayed married.

I was quite active with my online memoirs of my sexual deviance (this was right when I first started online journaling). This is when I Kind of discovered why people used fake names on the internet - to avoid anything incriminating. This was bad, because my target demographic for reading my exploits was the people I was exploiting. That would obviously backfire, so I deleted my account. However, i still have journals and blogs saved on a file on my computer. References are always amazing.

That has made me question a lot tho - for the reference of using fake names on the internet. It is so sad when people have to pretend to be someone else, to the extent of even some people go so far as using other peoples photos and passing them off as themselves. That I hate. I know some people have so much to share, but fear of rejection. I am glad this website has encouraged individualism, with some knock off's, some betty ford's, and some originals. I've never understood why people cant just post their own pictures of themselves, and tell their own stories and use their own names...

It is a very sensitive subject for me because even to date, I still see people using my old photos from years ago. My old roommate's ex stole some of my photos from online a 2 years ago, and posted them on adult dating websites which included my phone number, house address, work number, and work address. It was kind of beyond scary - because these people knew a part of me. And I had no idea of who they were. On the club scene this is understandable while In my personal private life- I am so secluded. Where I work, heck, I don't even tell most people my occupation to avoid this problem. Yet, people still slip through the cracks.

On off days, I think I should just be a porn star, so I have no secrets. Just give it all away.
I find it so amusing how it all comes together at the end of the day. Part of us, the ones living the dream want to hide, and the ones that steal the dream are the ones who are hiding.

Switch shoes for a day, and it all comes full circle, but when you start getting blisters on your feet I will be the one laughing.

border line crazy

I envy those people who dedicate and sacrifice their entire lives to the goodness of someone else. To their career, or to anything to be happy. Its hard.

It is very rare for me to let real and personal feelings escape my pores. I never like to let myself be cut open even-though it is always stinging on the inside. I always want to hold my heart inside and protect it. I have very few secrets in my life, but it is the only thing I have. Everyday their is a pain inside of me, some of anger and hate, and guilt. Ive made one countless mistake in my life that I have to live with forever. Time heals, but It does not replace.

I'm sure all of us have seen a movie thats made us cry. Except my life is like that every day, but no tears are shed.

So many people try to put blame on other people, stronger people put blame on ourselves. And for myself. I put myself at fault for not trusting myself. I've never been one to be responsible for another person. In group projects I always do 150 % of the work, and down size that way I know I at least have the best possible mark.

We can always hate ourselves for the things we do, making the wrong decisions, but are we fools (and fool is a very powerful word- if you read Shakespeare) for not making the right ones? Every day when i force myself out of bed, my only drive is a sacrifice for everything I've lost. Perhaps I am afraid of disappointing someone. At the end of the day, whenever that day may be I just hope it was all worth it

Some people run from their past and others live in it. For the love of yourself. Please don't be these people.

Quite often for me to move forward, I have to dissect my friends emotions, relationships and general understandings of life for me to get a grasp on my own life. I can take my findings and apply them on myself, and on my friends when I seek greater improvements. Maybe its crazy, maybe its normal. Maybe I'm a cat reject from the movie Autopsy.
Either way, It seems that a lot of peoples bad traits are learn-ed via osmosis. Monkey see- Monkey do. . I rather "do as I say, not as I do".

In my current state, I am glad it is my friend having a problem and not me. Its a sigh of relief. A semi close friend of mine is having a serrrious problem with relationships (i am trying to keep this ambiguous - in case my friend comes across my journal HA.). MY friends problem with relationships, is the same problem my friends parents have; and I can't blame genetics, but It is sad to see these trends being copied to the next generation. My friend has no idea what they are doing is wrong, and this is so so horrible. Its like your brain washed, and i am sitting from outside the operation room watching as a helpless bystander.

In comparison. You can never learn enough, yet, some forms of government seem to think too much information is a bad thing. I personally don't like secrets and censorship; however, in my friends shoes- my friend is afraid to disclose information.."the important stuff that you should tell your partner- to make you both equal". Secrets in relationships are bad = hell. Where is the trust.

Its sad when nobody can get through to someone because of what they have 'been through' because they have a life of fear.

Do you ever think their is a solution-- because frankly I don't :/

Whenever i get into these irregular moods, I only listen to one song and I listen to it until my ears bead. Its not any specific song, Its any song really. As much as i appreciate what music does for the soul - i don't listen to it often enough - almost never. I'm a hypocrite in this regard because i write a lot of my own music. HA.

I've recently found myself in charge of my life again. I'm like Britney without K-Fed or conservator-ship.

it is life with me alone. I love the freedom and the control. I've sacrificed too much of myself to be left with nothing.

Ive destroyed so many circles of friends that I've recently cut off of my life like Marie Antoinette's Guillotine. Even some close friends can have abusive tendencies which I have pointed out in a previous post. I had to stop. A friend of mine more specifically, a former close friend, told me after we get into an argument that, "I would go back and befriend him" OH HELL NO.- even though he is at fault: for making false promises, carelessness, discrete forms of emotional abuse and failing to follow up on any other acts said in the moment.

This is when I just gave up. Hearing those words from another person put it all into perspective to me. I am usually the person that shares this information and gives this advice to my close friends. Now it is being dictated to me. NO.

i am extremely talented and pay attention to detail when it is everyone elses problems, but when its mine - i always hide in the closet. as assertive as i can be, I always give up at the wrong time.

At the end, I also do all the clean up and make everything look pretty on the outside when the inside keeps me rotting- This is what it feels like to be alive. I was reading one of Candy's Journals and commented- and it was enough motivation for me to write my own entry on the same topic.

I like how on the online world people get into heated argument and block people. I could look at my block list as a sick reminder of that pain, but i don't keep a block list. I don't want to have any memories of past friendships gone sour. it is easier to befriend a stranger than to go back to a sour friend. I think of these friendships gone wrong, so wrong - that you can't even make eye contact with them as bad investments. It is really sad to invest in a friendship, and divulge yourself into like a favourite dessert and have it spoiled.

I invest my life in to my friends, and relationships and to see them fall apart is sad. It is sad when people don't meet their own expectations, or pull you back. Its self destructive for both parties involved.

I am more conditioned to a life of being melo and avoiding the drama, but when it occurs - i end it.

I've often had similar posts like this one, and I'm thankful that I write them without using any names. It makes looking at my past so much easier when i can even block out my own pains.

On another note, I was having a strong conversation with a powerful friend of mine about the influences that we have on society: local and online.
It was a refreshing conversation as very few people in my life see 'life' as i do.

Maybe that is a good perspective for the rest of the world. HA. HA.

The one sad part of the conversation was the amount of pain that occurs with our lifestyles.

"Everyones opinion about me matters, but the only one that matters to me is MINE." That is one of my favourite quotes haha, but What i forgot to include is that because I am strong enough to take criticisms - it doesn't mean that my friends and my family are as strong as me. This is something that will never end.

I think subconsciously this is why so many people are afraid of dreams, and achieving them, and why parents and other people kind of hold people back because they 'don't know what will happen'. Its genuine, it is just sad to be biased. I don't really take to third party vanities. Regardless of what i do in life, i will always get good and bad, I've just gotten so bored of it- nothing means anything anymore.

When you hear every compliment and insult a thousand times, hearing it ten more times does not make a difference.. the thought does, but it doesn't last.

we try, we fail, and we win.

we have good friends and emeines, and music that writes the stories of our lifes..

what else is their
melodrama

xo

SAM VIP