god take my ovaries now-you know I don't need them!

Soooooo....I ate a carrot in the shower today. How's your day been?

i was watching an episode of malcolm in the middle today & i was reminded of how much i want to go to burning man. i only go to that little thing in LA-and even then i wasn't there for the whole event.

late night at night it never fails. I end up thinking about all the things I can't control & all the things that make me mad.

why?

I'm trying to remember all the sweet dreams I used to have.~~~

First Tidbits of these wild hours: by the end I had a parking ticket, wearing a t shirt & jeans with no underwear, slept in some random woman's bed, & got a salad at walmart.

Feeling down in all sorts of ways didn't make me feel up for going anywhere St.Patty's night. I've always wanted to do SOMETHING seeing as how I've never done ANYTHING on this wonderous night of fun.
I had just seen Dan Rathers at the Pasadena civic center as an assignment for the school newspaper. After that riveting experience I was feeling lonely for the scene lifestyle I once lived & craved.
My good friend & ex lover is still a good friend & I knew he'd be doing something this night. After driving all the way back home I called him & found out he was on his way home from a late shift & wanted to go barhopping. I asked if I could tag along. I trust him with my life & knew he wouldn't lead me astray. I met up with him at another friend's home in Rosemead where we'd take his car. They said "hey, wanna go to Pasadena?" I figured why not?
The car was pumped with new Gorillaz tunes & I stuck my head out the window as we drove. The air was cool & filled with scents of new spring flowers.
We went to an Irish Pub that was in full bloom. Friendly folks were about & not an angry drunk in sight. I seated myself at the bar, & naively awaited a drink of sorts. Friend Bernie talked his way into getting free drinks for all 3 of us & it was like giving me a gun. Drink 1,2,3,4 made their way into me while I started fixing a conversation with a woman who adored my hair. She was Veronica, a dark artist or sorts. She was really bubble & tiny; with bright yellow scene pants.
My ex Kevin mingled & fit himself into the conversation, as he was trying to get into Veronica's pants. I knew he was trying to. I talked with other guys around the bar & all were cool & friendly. I figured Veronica & Kevin would make their way into each other eventually, since she called him a bad boy & spanked his ass good & hard after maybe 20 mins of talking. She was bubbly & bright ...and fiddling with my hair every now & then.
After a good couple of pints in me I watched Bernie mingle while Kevin & Veronica held hands at the bar right next to me. She then turned to me again & said she adored my look, took my arm and playfully kissed the length of my arm. In my drunk stooper I went "haha...your so cute!!!". She held my hand tight along with Kevin's hand.
The bar kicked us out eventually. We made plans to go back to Veronica's house. We also met up with another cute guy Jaime-friend to Bernie & Kevin. Walking back to the car I couldn't help but notice Veronica getting very comfy with my body by ticking me randomly & tightly. We took Jaime & Veronica & went to a Ralphs for some Tecate. I didn't care.
Veronica's home was mesmerizing. A small kitchen attached to a single room with a little bathroom. The walls were painted black & the lights dimmed. The decor was of a dark pagan gothic witch. Silver poetry was painted on the black walls & animal bones were littered in random places. Cheetah cushions were around the floor next to the bed. The night was drenched with booze.
Bringing out her special goods, we relaxed, peace-piped & froliced in each other's company. I could see Kevin aching for some action. He wanted Veronica.
We had pulled out the Gorillaz tunes & played them inside. Veronica was brushing up against me frequently. Kevin was eyeing me & Veronica closely,assessing the situation & opportunities. Veronica kept playing with my hair & wanted my head in her lap.
I announced I needed to use the bathroom & Veronica followed. I gave a panicked look to Kevin & he laughed. I was pretty gone by this time but I knew what was happening. I was in a short flower skirt & stretch tank top stuffed into a bathroom with somebody who had clear intentions for me. I was looking at myself in the mirror when she took a piss first & I was studying myself in the mirror-wondering what she saw in me? I complained about my looks like most girls do. She finished & said I shouldn't change a thing about myself when she kissed my back & hugged my shoulders. I pretended to change my mind about having to go to the bathroom.If I took my drawers off in front of this girl I was dead.
We joined the rest of the boys-i could tell they were eager for something to happen. They watched closely, waiting for something to happen. But the bottom line is=I'm a faithful girl & I kept thinking about the boyfriend that loved me dearly. So fighting SO MANY urges....I did my best to dodge her.
The music played late into the night. Veronica got Kevin to dance with her. Her body swayed to the music & his body. I watched them while I lay on the rug & looked at Kevin above me as Veronica began to sway down to her knees-almost to Kevin's crotch. She teased him & turned away to sway closer down to where I lay & she almost started to lay across me. I jolted up to dodge her once again. I'm pretty sure I had talked about my boyfriend at this moment. Bernie & Jamie watched everything so intently. Eventually she went to the kitchen for something & I jumped up to Kevin where he lay on the bed ,grabbed him by the shoulders & shouted "help me! I'm a good person but you have NO IDEA how hard this is! I can't cheat on my boyfriend! He's a good man & doesn't deserve this from me! She wants me, but I can't have her! Take her from me!" Kevin smiled "Send her on over". Veronica returned & stated her urges for me again & I went "hey, you know-if you try him, it'll be like trying me. He's had me before!" She bust up laughing. Eventually I was dragged up to dance with Veronica. I danced in the middle of men sitting around me, letting myself get lost in the music. Veronica was moving with me, but before I let it get close, I jumped over to Kevin who lay on the bed. I stayed close to Kevin, since she wanted nothing to do with him. I tried to persuade her to try Kevin out, but she playfully smiled & said she wanted me. I avoided her successfully for the rest of the night as I lay next to Kevin just talking about our lives. I passed out on her bed for a while. When I woke up, the other guys were laying around me on the floor, and the tv was playing Coraline.I had been laying on the bed while Kevin was on the floor right next to me.While watching the movie I turned to Kevin & thanked him for bringing me along. I drifted back into sleep & when the sunlight started peeping into the room, I was thrown into hell.
I had NEVER experienced anything so painful.It felt like the guys had punched me in my sleep. For a moment I regretted everything bad I had ever done to anybody.For a few hours I went in & out of the bathroom to hurl out whatever was left in me. Jaime had left early. Bernie & Kevin slept in till noonish while I tried to pull myself together for the car ride back to Rosemead.
We drove to Walmart, where I would refresh myself with some fruit. Then we drove back to Rosemead while Kevin puffed up a cigarette & pumped the same Gorillaz tunes again. They both made me something healthy to eat while I gulped down water. They started internet surfing while I was pulling myself together. Bernie offered his bathroom for a shower. Seeing as how it was 3:30 already & I was getting pressed for time, I went for it. I showered up, watched some WKUK with them, pulled out whatever remaining clothes I had without underwear & headed to my car.
Upon seeing my car, they forget to tell me the street sweeper comes every Thursday-so i got a $23 ticket. No biggie. I was just happy to stop hurting everywhere.

FINALLY!!!! For as long as I was in high school,I'd always wanted to go to Medieval Times & tonight I finally got to go. My b.f. took me as a late V-day gift. T'was amazing-I was part of the red knight's clan.

Looks like I'll be posting more and more here since I have a new comp all to myself. Hmmm-I may be going to this artwalk soon. Very soon~~` I've never been, and me holding myself as an artist, i feel i should head out there.

god I love L.A.

I'm finally going to see Zombieland today. I wanted to see this for a LONG time. Seeing as how my b.f. works at a movie theater-I thought I'd see this one right away like most films. But I have no idea why this one took so long.

But finally!!!

Also-I'm finally getting a pc of my very own. I have my eyes on this "Asus" brand which seems pretty reliable and at a reasonable price. Comes with a 6GB memory & 750gb hard drive. Any thoughts or suggestions on this plan?