anaesthetic
Anaesthetic's Melo Quick Entry
Haven't updated in 6 months. In ways, so much has happened, yet nothing has.I started working at Wal-mart.
I moved out.
Rian is coming soon.
2 days is such a short time, but it will take much too long.
I have overcome any doubts and insecurities and have only hope for us, us in which I have so much faith.
It's great, really.
It'll be a lot of new experiences.
I'll finally get to be in his arms, and that will fill so many voids.
I'm going to hate saying goodbye.
I moved out.
Rian is coming soon.
2 days is such a short time, but it will take much too long.
I have overcome any doubts and insecurities and have only hope for us, us in which I have so much faith.
It's great, really.
It'll be a lot of new experiences.
I'll finally get to be in his arms, and that will fill so many voids.
I'm going to hate saying goodbye.
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(no title)
My jaw hurts again, but I suppose I’ll live considering as I am becoming quite used to it.
On another note, I am a horrible friend online. IM’s are too impersonal for me to care as much as I would if someone came over to my house sobbing. I’d be able to better understand the enormity of someone’s feelings to them in that situation, hence I would care more as well.
I can too easily dismiss when my friends are upset online because perhaops I’ve heard it all before, or it feels as though they’ll just get over it. Maybe something inside of me says they sohuld just get over it because I know in the end it helps no one to be upset and angry, to wallow in their own self pity, but I have tkaen it a bit too far and become callous instead.
Of course there are some people to whom I am just always a bad friend, online or not. I dislike that because in the grand scheme of things I’d love to care about everything everyone has to say, but I’m so good at tuning people out that sometimes I miss out on something in which I really would be interested.
Of course after a while when some people continue whining and being angsty for attention or won’t help themselves; I shouldn’t have to help them either. Sometimes I’m so fed up because I try to give good, logical advice and some people just want to continue being miserable so they can continue receiving pity. It saddens me, because I know that personally, I’d rather get beyond things and be happier than receive attention for being pitiful.
I also hate when all I can say is "I’m sorry, that sucks." I wish I oculd somehow help everyone, but I can’t. It seems sometimes as though my mere presence should cheer everyone up, but it doesn’t. Sometimes that is very difficult for me to handle because I become lost in this interwoven tangle of god and inferiority complexes.
These have been some not-so-random thoughts from Cole
On another note, I am a horrible friend online. IM’s are too impersonal for me to care as much as I would if someone came over to my house sobbing. I’d be able to better understand the enormity of someone’s feelings to them in that situation, hence I would care more as well.
I can too easily dismiss when my friends are upset online because perhaops I’ve heard it all before, or it feels as though they’ll just get over it. Maybe something inside of me says they sohuld just get over it because I know in the end it helps no one to be upset and angry, to wallow in their own self pity, but I have tkaen it a bit too far and become callous instead.
Of course there are some people to whom I am just always a bad friend, online or not. I dislike that because in the grand scheme of things I’d love to care about everything everyone has to say, but I’m so good at tuning people out that sometimes I miss out on something in which I really would be interested.
Of course after a while when some people continue whining and being angsty for attention or won’t help themselves; I shouldn’t have to help them either. Sometimes I’m so fed up because I try to give good, logical advice and some people just want to continue being miserable so they can continue receiving pity. It saddens me, because I know that personally, I’d rather get beyond things and be happier than receive attention for being pitiful.
I also hate when all I can say is "I’m sorry, that sucks." I wish I oculd somehow help everyone, but I can’t. It seems sometimes as though my mere presence should cheer everyone up, but it doesn’t. Sometimes that is very difficult for me to handle because I become lost in this interwoven tangle of god and inferiority complexes.
These have been some not-so-random thoughts from Cole
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What do you do?
I recently joined a newsgroup on yahoo to find some people with whom I could talk about how I feel about certain things.
I found sometihng shocking. I guess I’m used to many people becoming skeptical about Christianity and I am quite aware that Christianity is not the dominant religion in the world. Why is it, then, that so many people in this group rely on God? I completely respect that, and I understand that religion can be a very strong support, but I am just a bit shocked to see it be so prevalent. I certainly didn’t expect as such because things have changed and it’s much more common to see Christian bashers than Christians.
Apart from the initial shock, I am left feeling a bit empty. I certainly don’t rely on God, and it just doesn’t occur to me that I might want to look to religion for some answers. However, it also seems that the people who most rely on religion to bring them through tough times are Christian, but this may only be because it is the religion with which I am most familiar.
I am coming off as though I mean to attack, and I don’t. I just want to be able to feel that reassurance by believing in something, but I don’t want that something to be religion. These people would be lost without religion, something that can be considered manmade (how atheistic do I sound now?) and I want to believe in something that is already here.
Sometimes I feel as though I already have the beginning of that strong belief. I have a very strong belief in the power which is known in love. Therein lies the problem. When I need reassurance in matters of the heart, do I need a strong faith in something else then?
So, I feel a bit empty because my faith in whatever isn’t strong. I don’t see myself being one who relies on her belief in some type of religion to help me along in times of need.
I feel a bit alienated by this fact and will now continue on my search for whatver it is, in which I can have complete and blind faith, wanting to turn my belief in love and its wonder from something much less passive and more the active force in my life.
Apart from the initial shock, I am left feeling a bit empty. I certainly don’t rely on God, and it just doesn’t occur to me that I might want to look to religion for some answers. However, it also seems that the people who most rely on religion to bring them through tough times are Christian, but this may only be because it is the religion with which I am most familiar.
I am coming off as though I mean to attack, and I don’t. I just want to be able to feel that reassurance by believing in something, but I don’t want that something to be religion. These people would be lost without religion, something that can be considered manmade (how atheistic do I sound now?) and I want to believe in something that is already here.
Sometimes I feel as though I already have the beginning of that strong belief. I have a very strong belief in the power which is known in love. Therein lies the problem. When I need reassurance in matters of the heart, do I need a strong faith in something else then?
So, I feel a bit empty because my faith in whatever isn’t strong. I don’t see myself being one who relies on her belief in some type of religion to help me along in times of need.
I feel a bit alienated by this fact and will now continue on my search for whatver it is, in which I can have complete and blind faith, wanting to turn my belief in love and its wonder from something much less passive and more the active force in my life.
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(no title)
You are a Tattoo... You are a little bit conservative and old school
but it’s so hot!!You are very awensome ,but the
majority of people misjudge you..
What kind of Body-modification are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.
What Matrix Persona Are You?
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your eyes show intellect
which eye are you?
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You are the Bleach! You are a Taker, a Reciver, and a general bad evil
evil person, but most people dont see that, and
they use you.
Shattering Tears - What is the real you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(no title)
Does your weblog own you?
Which [Romantic] movies are you?
Which [5 Elements] are you?
Which [Movie Genres] are you?
Which [Finding Nemo] characters are you?
Are You Naughty or Nice?
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and more quizzes
Nice Evil: Like the witch in "Into the
Woods" said, "You’re so nice. You’re
not good, you’re not bad, you’re just
nice." Go with the flow and don’t hurt
anyone, even if they deserve hurting. You’re
the type that lets bad things happen because
you won’t get angry, but at least that’s evil,
right?
What Type of Evil are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
| Name: | |
| The Sorting Hat places you in: | Slytherin (Green and Silver) |
| Subject you are naturally best at: | Defense Against the Dark Arts |
| Your favorite book: | Quidditch Teams of Britain and Ireland |
| Pet you bring to school: | New Zealand Boobook Owl |
| You are most known for: | Being the teachers’ pet. |
| ! | |
| Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen! | |
You’re the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that’s a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don’t give a damn,but it’s
everyone else’s fault if you don’t because
you’re too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
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You are the playful pin-up! Do you know how to be
serious?
What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
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hehe
!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
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You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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how cute
You are a.. GOTH! You’re sick of the wannabe freaks
ruining the scene and making your angst seem
superficial. You thrive on the darker aspects
of life, have an interest in classic literature
and poetry, and probably get a kick out of
Halloween. ("No.. that’s not a costume,
dammit!")
The Subculture Label Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
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whoa!
i missed my one year
quick update
well i can’t even do thatbecause none of you would know me well enough
but im working on a new layout for my site and have decided on colleges yet
is there anyone who lives in either Chicago or Phoenix?
leave me a message
hmm exams are this week and i only really have to study for Chemistry
Work’s going fine but grace is going to court over that accident =
samantha went to the doctors today but she must be fine cause shes making weird noises at the dog right now
the boyfriend situation is better and i
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w00t
i just popped my first cherry -beams*
go visit
http://www.melodramatic.com/users/dudeboy9387
go visit
http://www.melodramatic.com/users/dudeboy9387
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am i the only one?!?
who only gives touches for those posts that acutally touch me, the entries that make me feel or think or cry or laugh?
don’t get me wrong, i love being touched but i wanna feel like i said something that affect someone
i dislike being touched on stupid posts
someone said i should write more about what i think
well that’s what i think
don’t get me wrong, i love being touched but i wanna feel like i said something that affect someone
i dislike being touched on stupid posts
someone said i should write more about what i think
well that’s what i think
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