So the Hot-Ness Monster (see: here) & I have talked a few times. Smoke breaks at work are great for that... Anyways, we don't really know each other but I figure that we've been in contact enough for him to at least be curious. So basically, now the ball is in his proverbial court. I'm not gonna go out of my way to try and run into him (or pretend I need to bum a smoke). I figure if he's interested or at least intrigued, he'll find ways to talk to me and if he isn't, well I'm too lazy and jaded to chase after him. I don't really know anything about him other than he is super hot, so I'm not gonna start getting my hopes up. Lie. They are. It just really sucks that we have basically no friends in common outside of work, so it's the only time he sees me. Ugh. Come on, fate! Can't you work in my favour just this once?
Your responsible ways are making life a little easier for you today, so see if you can take care of business a bit more visibly today. Things are certainly getting better for you -- and those around you! Better keep a box of tissues handy, because you're about to become unusually sentimental. Nostalgic, even. And maybe in the mood to reminisce. Whatever you're feeling at the moment will emerge, regardless of whether you're comfortable with letting others see it. So if you've been trying to hide your feelings for a certain someone, you should probably just forget about that. Why disappoint yourself?
I could be with you, if I didn't hate myself so much. If I didn't feel like I would be doing you a disservice. If I didn't think you'd be taking a step down. If I thought I was worth it. If I thought I deserved it. If I was thinner, prettier, and less shy. If I thought I could make you happy. If I could take off my clothes and not be self-conscious.
Maybe one day I can be (and not be) all of those things. And I can only hope you'll stick around until then.
Someone who's near and dear to your heart has been acting strangely. You're not sure what's up, but it doesn't feel good. To make matters even more intense, and even more puzzling, someone you're not sure you trust will feel the need to tell you what they think is going on. Don't shoot the messenger -- but don't take the message seriously just yet, either. Who knows? This third party might have an ulterior motive. Your love life gets a tremendous boost today -- thanks to your own unthinking action. You arouse interest in the right person (your current partner or a crush, maybe) just by doing what's right.
You should hit a big milestone today, though others might not even take notice. That's okay -- they're sure to see in the near future, whether or not you publicize the event. Let it slide. You're not used to being so emotional. So when your eyes start welling up with tears (again), and everyone who knows you tells you to take a nap, don't argue with them. They're genuinely concerned, and you really can't blame them. It's not as if you act like this every day, now is it? Be as patient and understanding as you possibly can. Your loved ones certainly are.
ok so maybe i haven't been emotional int he past few years but i'm fucken emotional okay whoreascopefuckenbitchslut...
"First a bad call, then a sad deal.
We'll close the blinds to cover your lies.
Cheat the game, roll back time -
this argument only needs one side.
Like a rat to a trap, (or in our case, a boy)
He'll find himself pinned
to what's killing him.
A gruesome death.. he'll disappear
The cold bites my skin, but I like it here.
Please let me be. Let me bleed."
It's funny how lyrics you wrote 5 years ago apply more now than they did when you wrote them.
the title is kind of how I'm talking to myself today, it is not entirely healthy and not entirely nice but it is how things are. blah, blah, blah.
people who are interested in telling me things about themselves should text me over the next hour or two. if you want to tell something to an aria, now is your golden chance.
I know sara posted this video Last February, 2009, So sad. it is one of my favourites i had to re post it.
Tagging my entries has gone a lot better than I anticipated. it is easier to tag folders at a time, than individual entries.
This maintenance on my journals has been a good reflection on my old life. Its nice to see things on a time line and put them in place. I just wish i could sort by date.. I'm not use to viewing things backwards.
i've spent a lot of time on the this website in the last week, and a lot has paid off. its kind of nice to see the below updates. That means a lot to me, for myself and for other people. So thank you.
To any user that touch/or bang any of my entries. Please, unless you want to be anonymous please tell me that you did. I don't spend a lot of time viewing my Elite Visitor Logs. If you want to be acknowledged, please tell me.
